What really builds up high firendships?
Just trying to summarize and transate a few thoughts from a source that I find inspiring in the topic of friendship.
I was always fascinated by the dynamics how friendships were created and dissolved in time. How people found each other valuable, useful or simply used for a while. None of them wrong, all shape and form of friendship should have its right to exist accoridng to needs.
Right to the core:
” The friend in its deepest meaning: not opponent. Somebody who besides this combative, swirling world, beyond the stars war battles, made peace with us. Not only ally, because of mercy of a few lucky aspect, as from allience, at some other point of the growth of the two, they could become enemies again.”
„Quintessence of friendship: the Tat Twam Asi. Prerequsite is: it should not build upon the actuality of the flesh intrests or the temporary sense of absence of the world of emotion, but the base of ideas. Only the common spiritual inquiry , which points further than earthly interests, toward infinite perspective. This kind of friendship will be held together by elixir. Doesnt get old, or rotten. Fullfills the most mystic and the strongest need: dissolves the deathly illness of loneliness.”
” This is the process of finding peace in each other without desire. „
” A friend is , with whom help we can releae our self-destructive thoughts. We show ourselves to them, they empatic curiosity helps us to put into words our most unspeakable parts, and through this relase of words, that are heavy as rocks.”
Next one is a tough nut to transalte but lets see:
„Without this highest element of friendship , even the strongest love could not last long, because it is the common inquiry , higher ideals are the glue of all human relationships, rather than physical aims.
…Who longs for friendship, should become a good friend first. Toward the direction of his/her wish or effort, he or she him/her-self should emanate those inviting signals which would summon the similar frequency friend.”
Probably it is our chaotic internal structure that sends all sort of invitations to the world. Hence attracting all sort of people, regarding what we need or lack or fear of, or desire.
Even if we lack a definite idea of this spiritual aim, we face difficulty to articulate the direction where we tend to go, hence having a hard time finding true friends or partners.
It is easy to see, if our genuine effort is without any particular need , attraction or aversion, and we already walk toward that higher aim, which is without wordly interest, we may have more chance to find true friends.
I see it today, that building this kind of friendship would worth the effort and also a good measurement of cultivation. Self inquiry also needed very much, looking at our honesty and needs, and efforts as such.
Nei gong to me helped so far, removing lots of layers , hence able to see a little more clear. The practical daily practise slowly brought results in this field too. Probably putting importance on this question already is a result. And it should be as high firendship seems to be a vey valuable aspect of life.
I am very happy to witness, that our nei gong courses show a good base. Without effort put on it, naturally forms a good base, of no particular interest in each other, yet, an accepting environment. Caring, organizing if needed but not overlaping into each others personal space or comfortable zone. There is place for hard work, and as the group works together on their own, slowly commaradry builds. No need to build community , or push to any particular direction, simply show up for ourselves and each other.
The common spiritual ground is there also, the inquiry of self cultivation, Listening and release, two major component of the path, opening door for essentials.
Thank you all.
Source for quotes: Szepes Mária works.
